By: Andrew Thran
Death is a very serious thing, but sometimes the Grim Reaper gets bored and this makes for some quite hilarious deaths. I don’t mean any disrespect to these people.
10. Michael Anderson was a convicted murderer who was about to meet his demise on the electric chair. However, he convinced the jury at his appeal that the person he murdered had it coming. Either that or he paid them off. Still, there’s nothing hilarious or ironic about him. He was found sitting naked on a metal toilet, stone cold dead. How did he die? He was trying to fix a television and he electrocuted himself. The Reaper may not be perfect, but at least he has a sense of humor.
9. Apart from having the best name in the world, Allan Pinkerton started the Pinkerton detective agency. He foiled an assassination plot against Abraham Lincoln. He also died by biting his own tongue. In June 1884, Pinkerton was strolling along, when he tripped on the pavement and bit his own tongue. The tongue became infected, since back then, witchcraft like science and reasoning didn’t exist. He died on the 1st of July 1884. Death by tongue.
8. John Sedgwick was a major-general for the Union Army in the Civil War who played key roles in famed battles like the Battle of Antietam and the Battle of Gettysburg. By the time of his death, he was the most senior major-general in the Army and worthy of great respect. So at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House, he stood proud at the front line directing the placement of the Union artillery. The Confederates were advancing, however, from 1,000 yards away, causing his subordinates to dodge and run around, hesitant at standing in the open. Incensed, Sedgwick declared he was ashamed of his men, that the enemy was too far to cause damage, and that “they couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance.” Seconds later, he died after being struck by an enemy bullet below his left eye. I guess he was wrong.
7. Bobby Leach was known for his daredevil antics. His most famous death-defying stunt was surviving going over the Niagara Falls in a barrel back in 1911. That fall fractured his jaw and broke both knee-caps, but it did not kill him. It would define his life and he embarked on many publicity tours thereafter. On one of such publicity tours, he walked down the street and slipped on an orange peel (some say banana peels). The fall he suffered (probably about 4-6 feet vs. Niagara Falls’s 180 feet) was so hard that he broke his leg, which became infected with gangrene, and was eventually amputated. He died from complications following the amputation.
6. A woman died of a heart attack from shock after waking up at her OWN funeral. Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov from Kazan, Russia, had been wrongly declared deceased by doctors on June of 2012. The horrified 49-year-old began screaming when she realized they were getting ready to bury her. She was rushed back to the hospital, where doctors had declared her dead from a suspected heart attack. Now her husband is suing the Hospital. “I am very angry and want some answers. She wasn’t dead when they said she was and they could have saved her,” he said. Must have been quite disappointing for him.
5. In 1985, the New Orleans lifeguards threw a big party to celebrate the fact that no one had drowned in any pool during the summer season (no, really). A clean, no-drowning record! A GREAT reason to celebrate!
But when all the excessive celebrations were over, Jerome Moody was found drowned at the deep end of the department pool. Mr. Moody was not a lifeguard, but he was at a party where 4 lifeguards were on duty and another 200 off-duty lifeguards were in attendance, celebrating that an entire summer with no deaths.
4. Adolf Frederic, King of Sweden died of digestion problems on 12 February 1771 after having consumed a meal of lobster, caviar, sauerkraut, smoked herring and champagne, topped off with 14 servings of his favorite dessert: semla served in a bowl of hot milk, called “Het Vägg” (Hot Wall). He is thus remembered by Swedish schoolchildren as “the king who ate himself to death.”
3. Clement Vallandigham was a lawyer who represented a man charged with killing someone during a bar fight. Vallandigham’s approach was to convince the jury the dead man had shot himself as he drew his weapon from his pocket. As he faced the jury, Vallandigham recreated the situation exactly as it happened. And when I say exactly, I mean that he managed to also recreate the end result: a man shooting himself whilst drawing his pistol. Vallandigham died from his injuries, but did manage to acquit his client on the grounds that a man can accidentally shot himself whilst drawing a weapon from his pocket by showing the jury exactly how this was done. Wow. That is dedication to your work.
2. I found this on the internet so it might not be true. Not much is known about this guy, other than the fact that he was extremely stupid. Out hunting, two companions were crossing a glacier when the lead hunter slipped and fell off the side. Out of shock, and possibly mental deficiency, his companion did the only thing he could think of: shout “Are you okay?”. As luck would have it, the answer “Yes!” came back to him. Relieved, he jumped over the edge. The last sight he saw was his friend hanging from a single branch which was protruding from the ice.
1. A man in his mid-forties died while mowing a lawn in southern Sweden. We think he was mowing the grass on what turned out to be a severely steep incline, a witness said. The man, who fell with the machine. Death by lawnmower, am I the only one who is reminded of that scene in The Happening?