Top Ten Conspiracy Theories About Your Childhood Entertainment

Everyone’s childhood was different. Some grew up with Spongebob, some grew up with Winnie the Pooh, others grew up with Hannah Montana. However, once our childhoods were over, and we had the same memories, but stronger minds. Therefore, we began to think about the shows and movies we had come to love. Perhaps we over thought it a bit, but the end result of our pondering was a collection of theories that explain every inconsistency, every mystery, every plot hole that doesn’t make sense in our favorite kids movies and cartoons.

DISCLAIMER: I did not come up with these theories myself, aside from a few elaborations. I simply collected them from the dark corners of the internet and brought them here for you to see.

DISCLAIMER #2: whether they are mind-blowing, depressing, or dark, these theories will definitely keep you from seeing your childhood the same way again. If you like your childhood just the way it is, stop reading now, or prepare for everything to change.

10. The Bikini Atoll theory


One of the essential reasons behind many of the creation of these theories is the inability of people to accept the laws of the universe of the show. An example would be the bikini Atoll theory, which expalins why the characters in Spongebob can talk. Nickelodeon has confirmed that the show takes place in the waters below the Bikini Atoll, a small island in the Pacific ocean. It has also been confirmed that the U.S. government used the island for Nuclear testing in 1946. What if all the characters on the show are genetic mutations caused by radiation? That would explain why creatures like sponges and fish have legs and can talk. The final piece of information comes from this image of an explosion on the atoll. 152454If this picture looks familiar, that is most likely because it is used on the show to signify a large explosion in the show. (For example, the episode where Spongebob eats a pie with a bomb in it.) Coincidence? Quite possibly, but it’s always fun to speculate.

9. Charlie Brown has Cancer


This is definitely one of the more depressing theories out there, but it does explain a lot of things about the show. The reason Charlie Brown and Linus are bald, while all the other kids have hair, is from chemotherapy treatments. This would also explain why Charlie Brown is so depressed and down on himself all the time. He doesn’t have time to make friends because of all his time in the hospital, with Linus being his only friend due to the time they’ve spent together being treated.  Many would raise questions about the many holes in this theory, and point out a few things that don’t line up with the show, but that’s why it’s at number nine.

8. Ash’s Coma Theory


Like the spongebob theory, this speculation arose from the refusal to accept the concept of artistic licence, leading to the big question:”How come Ash is still ten even though the show is about twenty years old?” Finally, one seriously messed up fan came up with the explanation that it is because Ash is in a coma. The theory goes on to explain that nothing has been real since the first episode, when Ash fell off of MIsty’s bike. It states that Ash hit his head when he fell, and is imagining everything that takes place after the first episode. That is why he’s always ten years old, and why no one has recognizes him when he goes to a new region.

7. Candice has hallucinations


This theory came from a person who tried to make heads or tails of the fact that Candice’s mom never sees the amazing inventions of Phineas and Ferb. The show always comes up with a reason why the invention disappears right before the mom comes home, generally related to the endeavors of Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus. However, a simpler explanation prevails. The inventions were never there in the first place. The theory explains that Candice has schizophrenia, and imagines normal activities, like going down a slide or  playing in leaves, as a massive extravagant contraption. This explains why Candice’s mom never sees anything, and why Phineas and Ferb never mention it again.

6. Courage is just a normal dog


This theory isn’t dark like the other ones, but it makes perfect sense of the TV show “Courage the Cowardly Dog” The theory basically explains that all of the monsters and scary creatures are just normal people from a dog’s point of view. Courage doesn’t live in the middle of nowhere, he just thinks that because his owners never walk him, and he knows nothing of the outside world. There are no monsters or ghosts, they’re just normal people, but since they are new and strange and scary to a dog, he imagines them as terrible beasts. This explains why his owners never seem to be scared of the creatures, and why they are even mad at Courage when he is scared of them.

5. Scooby Doo takes place after a Massive Economic Depression


Coming in at number five is the theory that will change everything you thought you knew about Scooby Doo. The characters are in the middle of the greatest economic depression since the Great Depression. This explains why there are so many abandoned buildings and theme parks for people to hide in, and why people who would normally be quite respected in society (professors, doctors, scientists) are forced to dress up and scare people in desperate money-making schemes to put food on the table for themselves.

4. The Flintstones and the Jetsons theory


This theory explains that the Flintstones and the Jetsons actually take place at the exact same time, but in different places. Hundreds of years from now, genetics has gone farther than ever before, making it possible to recreate dinosaurs like in Jurassic Park. Hovercraft craft technology has developed to the point where entire cities can be suspended in the sky. However, all of these technological masterpieces are wiped out after a devastating nuclear war. Part of society takes all of their remaining technology and begins a new life away from the toxic wasteland that is earth, up in the sky. The other part returns to their ancient roots upon the ground, rebuilding their society with whatever they can find. The dinosaurs that have survived are taken on as pets, and people try their best to do make things the way they were before. This is why there are normal day appliances, like cars and televisions, in this prehistoric world,and why they celebrate holidays like Christmas and Easter.

3. Minecraft is post apocalyptic


For some reason these theorists seem to have some obsession with apocalypses, don’t ask me why. This theory begins in the midst of a devastating war with an alien race. In a daring and stunning move, the aliens establish a base on our moon, where they proceed to launch a devastating nuclear weapon, wiping out the majority of the human race. Your character, Steve, is among the last of the survivors. Cities have all been destroyed, but it has been long enough afterwards for trees and other plant life to grow back, along with certain animals. All of the hostile MOBs are mutations caused by the nuclear radiation, except for the endermen, which are members of the alien race who are checking up on earth every once in a while. Nether and end portals are not truly portals, but teleportation devices to other places. The nether is ground zero of the explosion, where the ground is scorched beyond repair and the mutations are more extreme than  anywhere else. The end is actually the moon, where the aliens are still residing after the war. Of course this theory leaves open many questions and plot holes, like multiplayer, and a lot of other game mechanics, such as crafting and spawning, but it’s always fun to speculate.

2. The Winnie the Pooh theory


This theory came from a guy who was watching Winnie the Pooh and thought to himself:”You know what would make this lighthearted and fun show better? If I came up with a depressing theory to ruin it for everyone” And so they did. The theory states that every character in the beloved children’s classic is actually a child with a mental disorder. Pooh is a child with an eating disorder, Piglet has anxiety, Rabbit has OCD, Tigger has ADHD, Eeyore has depression, and Owl has extreme narcissism. Christopher Robin is the only person who sees the other children in the mental hospital this way, because he is a schizophrenic.

1. The Pixar Theory


One theory to rule them all. This theory is hands down, my favorite conspiracy theory of all time. It will blow your mind, challenge your sanity, and change everything you thought you knew about Pixar movies. Every Pixar movie is another chapter in the story of an epic struggle between animals, machines, and humans. The theory starts with Brave, set in the 1400s. We see the witch turning humans into animals, and some animals, like her crow, behaving in a very human-like way. As she breeds animals to become smarter, she is unknowingly setting the stage for a struggle that will change the course of history. Boo-Brave-WitchFast forward hundreds of years into the future, to a time period around the 60’s. Superheroes keep evil at bay, and all seems alright, until Syndrome begins to create artificial intelligence that is able to learn from its observations and think independently from humans. This artificial intelligence will later pose quite a threat to humans, and the world as they know it. As AI becomes smarter and smarter, they begin to find their way into human households in the form of toys, beings that rely on zero point energy (Syndrome’s invention) and human love. However, things change as tensions rise between toys and their masters. Jessie resents her previous owner for abandoning her and Lotso downright despises humans. Meanwhile, in the oceans and sewers, rats and fish are just some of the many creatures descended from the human-minded animals created by the witch. They are becoming bolder and bolder, with Remy going as far as to join human society, and the fish teaming up to save Nemo and Dory dfd54a6e6c3e428ef1773b070e211dee34ebcb36from the fishermen’s net. During all this, AI is penetrating deeper and deeper into human society, operating under the alias of the company B and L. As they use their corporate control to gain more power, Carl Fredrickson is forced to move his house due to city expansion. We also see Charles Muntz experimenting on dogs, and using them for his dirty work, along with his passion to destroy the rare bird. This, combined with a long history of maltreatment and oppression, is the tipping point for animals, and a massive war erupts not too long after the events of UP. As animals begin to triumph, the machines come to the rescue of humans, wiping out almost all of animal life in the process. The machines then proceed to send humans into space on the Axiom, all under the guise of B-and-L. With humans out of the way, machines proceed to take over the world, creating the society seen in Cars. However, their triumph is short-lived, as they soon run out of resources, and destroy each other in the ensuing battle for control, leaving only a few WALL-E units to clean up the now uninhabitable earth. After discovering that life exists on earth’s surface, humans return to earth, and proceed to repopulate it. AXIOMHowever, some animals have survived both the war and the ensuing age of machines, as we can see from the cockroach in WALL-E. These animals rebuild their complex societies in the garbage and waste, as can be seen in A Bug’s Life. Finally, after hundreds of years, the bugs evolve in the toxic wasteland and become monsters, which destroy the entire human race before discovering the major energy crisis they have to deal with. Realizing their mistake, the monsters create the doors, which can not only travel through space, but time as well. Using these they collect the human screams for energy and their society continues to develop. However, one small girl, nicknamed “Boo” by Sully and Mike,finds her way into the monster world and discovers the secret of the doors. After working for years, she masters their abilities and goes back to the 1400s where she becomes the witch from Brave, setting the entire process in motion.

screen-shot-2014-02-24-at-4-46-57-pm (1)
A carving of Sully can be found in the Witch’s workshop. suspicious, isn’t it?


Of course, I understand that these theories don’t answer every question about these shows, games, or movies, but they certainly do fill in some of the blanks. Many of these, are, in fact, condensed versions of the original theories, and googling the name or something similar will most likely allow you to find the full version. However, I warn you. Parts of these theories were cut out for a reason. However dark or depressing these may be, the internet has far darker and more depressing things to offer. Search at your own risk. Or come up with some of your own! As I said before, it’s always fun to speculate. Don’t forget to leave your own take on a show or movie in the comments along with a suggestion for next week, because I’m all out of ideas.

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