Why I Hate Abstract Stuff

by The Hater Dude

(Disclaimer: This is my opinion, and you don’t have to agree with me; don’t rage on me in the comments. Raging is my job.)

I hate abstract art! I go into an art museum to see flowing landscapes and realistic portraits, and what’s clogging up an entire hallway? A bunch of canvases covered in paint splatters and lines. They’re worth like thousands of dollars, and it’s just a bunch of squares! I could do something just like it on MICROSOFT PAINT! I just stare at it, wondering what kind of effort they put into this. I mean really, one of the most famous works of all times is a bunch of splatters on a canvas! This thing is worth 140 million dollars! I could have done the same thing with some brushes and paint within five minutes! I went to the national gallery over the summer, and among the wonderful landscapes and portraits was this weird thing:


What is the point of this thing? What is it supposed to be? A poke’ball? And then people don’t let you insult it because it’s supposedly “symbolic” or something. Again, this is in the NATIONAL GALLERY! There are better works of art than these multicolored squares! If it is supposed to be symbolic, at least give us some vague idea what it is supposed to be symbolizing. On top of that, they name it “Untitled,” as if we weren’t already lost about what on earth it is. When I grow up, I hope to be a modern artist because they can do virtually no work and get paid millions for their blurry mess of color! It’s the best job ever! You can be super lazy and get away with simply slapping an “abstract” label on it. It just makes me angry that someone can pour his heart into a beautiful landscape or portrait and not even get as much credit as the person who, for all I know, threw up on a canvas and stuck some pieces of construction paper on!


Don’t even get me started on abstract MUSIC! Boy, I really hate that stuff. If you’ve taken music history, you probably know what I’m talking about. That messed up piano music is ridiculous! In my opinion, that’s not music, its just a bunch of random notes. One abstract piano song reminded me of a youtube video I saw of a dog who jumped on a piano. I get the whole “Music doesn’t need to sound pretty” thing, but this isn’t MUSIC! It has no melody, no rhythm, no consistency, and no end in sight! I kid you not, some of these songs go on for about ten minutes.

So in short, I hate abstract stuff because I feel “abstract” is just another word for laziness. Again, this is just my opinion, so you don’t have to feel the same way.

Feel free to leave your comments below!


One thought on “Why I Hate Abstract Stuff

  1. Totally agree, it’s like that Hans Christian Andersen’s tale “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, everyone knows that the modern/abstract art is crap but they all pretend to see something so that they would appear intelligent and “modern”


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