by Michael Ford and Joseph Aboudi
Welcome to the all new feature where YOU select the fighters, WE have an epic debate (which you can read below), and, finally, YOU determine the winner!
So without further adieu, today’s battle is…………
BATMAN VS. GENERAL GRIEVOUS!!!
Michael will fight for General Grievous, and Joseph will defend Batman!
Michael: Come on bro, General Grievous would beat Batman any day. Trained by Count Douku, the best saber-wielder of his time, he has defeated numerous Jedi in one-on-one combat. Each lightsaber he wields is a trophy from his past victims. Not to mention, he has the entire droid army on his side. Hundreds of super battle droids, MagnaGuards, and Droidekas are waiting to attack if Grievous gives the order. General Grievous’ computer-enhanced senses allow him to detect any attack at any time, and four rapidly spinning light sabers create an impenetrable wall of pain. But that’s not the only trick General Grievous has up his sleeve. Along with an extra hidden set of arms, he is equipped with a grappling hook, an anchoring claw, even and the ability to jump 20 feet in the air, brutally crushing his opponents upon landing.
Joseph: First things first, look at this four-armed freak. Batman could send his lightsabers flying with a couple of batarangs. Then, Batman could put on his magnet suit, throw Robin the keys to the Batmobile, and walk all over that glorified hunk of metal. Alas, Robin could trample every last one of those pesky droids. After that, it would be the dynamic duo of Batman and Robin versus “the pathetic scrap heap.”
Michael: Batman may have a Batmobile, but Grievous has ways of getting around, too. His wheel-bike would steamroll the Batmobile into the ground…wouldn’t that be a pity? The Batarangs would stand no chance against the searing heat of his four light sabers, and metal armor plates protect him from any type of harm, even if they were to penetrate his fortress of spinning blades. Batman has no gadgets that could stand a chance against Grievous, and his physical strength is indubitably inferior to the General’s mechanical might. Face it, Joe, General Grievous is stronger, smarter, and has far better technology at his disposal.
Joseph: Why would General Grievous be so fast on his crummy old wheel-bike? Do you know what Batman says to the wheel bike? JETPACK! Do you know what Batman says to being shot by droids? NEW JETPACK, more jetpacks, and more jetpacks!
Michael: What good would jetpacks do? With Grievous’ Grievance striker, a powerful blaster, he could blast Batman out of the sky with a single shot, and his computer-enhanced brain would provide him with unbeatable accuracy and precision. You can’t underestimate General Grievous’ deadly bag of tricks. With his speed, intelligence, and strength, you would need a light saber and considerable abilities with the force, neither of which Batman possesses, in order to even stand a chance against him, let alone come anywhere close to defeating this powerful warrior.
That’s all for today, folks! So who do you think would win? Give us your opinion in the comments below, and don’t forget to tell us your pick for next week’s fighters!
P.S. We don’t own any of the rights to these characters. If we did, we would be rich. So please don’t sue us, DC. Comics or Lucasfilms. We have neither lawyers nor money.